It is estimated that six percent of the population hates lasagna. This is for the ninety-four percent of you who seem eternally concerned about that.
Lasagna pans are hard to clean. It could take days of soaking and scraping to get the burnt embers of your nasty concoction off that pyrex. Days that pan could have spent making brownies. Lasagna pans are hard to clean.
Lasagna noodles resemble large, squiggly flatworms. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, flatworms can burrow into the skin and organs of human beings causing pain, itching irritation and epilepsy. Lasagna is like flatworms.
Lasagna is inconvenient. James Beard, beloved culinary expert, suggests that a good lasagna is a process that should take about a day to cook. A rare steak takes ten minutes. Lasagna is inconvenient.
Lasagna has the texture of barf. According to The Johns Hopkins Medical Care Guide, vomit can have many textures but generally, in my experience, is just a bit slippery, a touch chunky and sometimes a drop watery. Additionally, I should mention the unique acidic tinge that, though rare, it seems to share with lasagna. Lasagna is like barf.
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