All About The Hokey Pokey

 

It's all about the Hokey Pokey...everybody knows that.

Perhaps the reason why humanity remains in strife despite this universal absolute has something to do with the  inconsistent cultural connotations of the term itself.

For example, here in New Zealand Hokey Pokey comes conveniently packaged in a little plastic tub in your freezer isle. But what IS it? Chances are any lolly-loving Kiwi (and what Kiwi doesn't love lollies?) will give you the same, albeit obvious, answer, "It's ice cream...with little pieces of Hokey Pokey". 

To a foreigner with an imagination this is concerning. "Little pieces of Hokey Pokey? Oh my! What a disturbing R&D process....'place one right hand in, no, take it out....a left hand in, no no, take that out, too! Put a whole body in and all in little pieces shaken about in sweet, smooth, vanilla ice cream...Perfect'. I mean, Sure, the native Maori were said to practice cannibalism during warfare, but is the best way to keep that tradition alive via an ice cream marketed to children? " Not to worry, inventive American, what the lolly-loving Kiwi in your life is really trying to tell you is that it's packed with specks and swirls of crunchy, bubbly toffee goodness (think peanut brittle sans the nuts)...in fact, you'll probably like it. It is, after all, the second most popular ice cream flavor in New Zealand. 

The origins of the Hokey Pokey came long before those Friday nights you used spend on eight-wheels "shaking it all about" to the Ram Trio at the Skatin' Station.Yes long, long ago before the invention of the ice cream cone (that long), in search of food and democracy, a small bunch of Italian immigrants to the UK and North America made their living selling something that they were pretty familiar with; frozen desserts. Not the glamorous gelatto of modern London's Italian delicatessens but Good Humor-esque street treats that, if they were lucky and finished their supper, sun-drenched little rascals could enjoy for "O'che pocco", a.k.a. Mom's pocket change. Say it ten times fast and you begin to understand how the packages of these little treats got to be called Hokey Pokies. Catchier than it's Italian Mama the, "Americanized" originally derogatory, term became great advertising for peddlers who would sing "Hokey-pokey, pokey ho. Hokey-pokey, a penny a lump. Here's the stuff to make you jump!" 

The children grew up (as we tend to do), and moved with their cows to an island in the middle of the Tasman. And well, the greatest Dairy exporter on earth had to start somewhere, so they used what little they had to create flavours and recipes reminiscent of home. With only three hard-to-spoil easy-to-freeze ingredients in toffee, it was a natural flavour choice and what name was nearly synonymous with ice cream?....you got it. With a little bit of branding magic Hokey Pokey was in full swing.

Meanwhile, a Canadian Officer walks into a bar (it's history, not a joke, guys) and hears a bunch of plastered Canucks having a complete riot singing a drunken rendition of the Hokey Pokey man's jingles. It was wartime and he needed a little somethin' to boost morale, so he looks back to his childhood (and maybe the Shaker song 'Hinkum-Booby'...thank goodness that one didn't catch on) to write the great piece of genius that would later made famous by the Ram Trio's one hit-wonder of the 1950's; the Hokey Pokey. 

So, without further adieu, in attempt to reverse this dualistic destiny and re-unite the Hokey Pokies of our great nations, I present to you: 

HOKEY POKEY

To the tune of 'The Hokey Pokey'

Ingredients: 

5 Tbsp Sugar

2 Tbsp Golden Syrup

1 tsp Baking Soda

Method:

Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN! 

(Get Ready!)

You put your hands in, you take your hands out

You put your hands in and you scrub em all about

You prepare to Hokey Pokey, get your Edmond's cookbook out

That's what it's all about!

(In a saucepan!)

You put your sugar in, you get some syrup out

You put the syrup in, and you stir it all about

You turn the heat up gently and keep stirring all around

That's what it's all about!

(Keep stirring!)

You let it boil, and keep on stirring

And let it boil, for just two whole minutes more

You watch the Hokey Pokey to make sure it doesn't burn. 

That's what it's all about!

(Now it bubbles!)

You've got the heat in, so take your pan off, 

You put some soda in, and you stir it all about

You'll see the Hokey Pokey start to bubble and to froth

That's what it's all about 


(Grease the pan!)

You some butter in, a tin take out

You pour the mixture in and it gets all cold and hard

You set the Hokey Pokey and you break it all about

That's what it's all about!

You've made the Hokey Pokey

You'll eat the Hokey Pokey

You'll love the Hokey Pokey!

And that's what it's all about.